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New Billboards

    

 

    

    

Only in America (contributed by Daniel)

Only In America... can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only In America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only In America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only In America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.

Only In America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only In America... do we leave cars worth tens of thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only In America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have Call Waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only In America... do we buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only In America... do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tic" meaning "bloodsucking" creatures.

Only In America... do they have driveup ATM machines with Braille lettering for the blind drivers.

Only In America... can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in a White House.

   

MODERN TECHNOLOGY

Leaving Duluth, I decide to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go into the washroom.

The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when

I hear a voice from the other stall............"Hi there, how is it going?"

Okay...I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road.

I didn't know what to say, so finally I say: "Not bad............"

Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?"

I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm going back to the cities.............."

Then I hear the person, all flustered, say:

 "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question-this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!"...

 

Decisions

 

Osama BINCH Laden   (MP3)
A wonderful Dr.Seuss parody

 

Italian immigrant (mp3)